Articles
Time Forethought
Leadership
- Google's Leadership Rules
Posted by Claude on Friday 25th November 2011 at 13:52:00
- The King's Speech for Leaders
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 8th August 2011 at 18:23:53
- Increasing the Bench Strength of your Leadership Pipeline
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 20th June 2011 at 07:09:47
- Black Swans draw eyes onto the Leader
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 16th May 2011 at 21:06:51
- The Court of Conscience
Posted by Claude on Tuesday 5th April 2011 at 15:12:36
- No Margin No Good
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 2nd March 2011 at 11:36:24
- How will you Lead in 2011?
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 17th January 2011 at 10:57:48
- Water what You want to Grow
Posted by Claude Warner on Friday 31st December 2010 at 12:27:25
- Start a Virtuous Cycle & Create a Winning Team
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 8th November 2010 at 10:13:21
- With people, slow is fast
Posted by Claude Warner on Sunday 19th September 2010 at 18:24:55
- Leading without Title
Posted by Claude Warner on Tuesday 24th August 2010 at 15:32:02
- Waking the Sleepwalkers
Posted by Claude Warner on Thursday 15th July 2010 at 12:49:57
- The Goose and the Golden Egg
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 9th June 2010 at 22:20:07
- What is really Important?
Posted by Claude Warner on Friday 14th May 2010 at 11:52:05
- When Important becomes Urgent
Posted by Claude Warner on Tuesday 27th April 2010 at 10:42:20
- It Starts at the Top!
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 11th November 2009 at 14:30:10
- 1 comment on this post - most recent Tuesday 9th March 2010 at 14:40:11
Communication
- Listening is not Understanding
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 17th February 2010 at 21:10:49
- 1 comment on this post - most recent Monday 1st March 2010 at 13:13:59
- How to Connect with Customers and Clients
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 10th February 2010 at 11:25:06
- Communication - the lifeblood of a (business) community
Posted by Claude on Thursday 29th October 2009 at 14:51:18
Emotional Intelligence
- 1 + 1 = 3
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 20th October 2010 at 14:49:28
- All is not as it appears (to you)
Posted by Claude Warner on Saturday 3rd April 2010 at 10:11:52
- The Truth about Your Stress
Posted by Claude Warner on Friday 22nd January 2010 at 16:19:46
- Overcoming the Limiting Power of Assumption
Posted by Claude on Monday 27th July 2009 at 16:33:48
Successful Living
- Being Aware of Being Aware
Posted by Claude on Tuesday 13th April 2010 at 13:50:47
- Don't just work yourself, work on yourself
Posted by Claude Warner on Tuesday 9th March 2010 at 16:26:11
- Does the world know the real you?
Posted by Claude Warner on Tuesday 5th January 2010 at 14:43:47
- Is the journey the end or the means?
Posted by Claude Warner on Friday 27th November 2009 at 14:28:18
- My Vision and Mission
Posted by Claude on Friday 18th September 2009 at 11:45:09
- The 'Ensuement' of Happiness and Success
Posted by Claude on Friday 24th July 2009 at 17:39:22
Wisdom
- Since I accepted inevitability, I see possibility
Posted by Claude Warner on Thursday 25th February 2010 at 08:56:12
- 1 comment on this post - most recent Monday 1st March 2010 at 13:18:00
- A Man is never Powerless
Posted by Claude Warner on Monday 25th January 2010 at 15:32:29
- Precepts of Wisdom
Posted by Claude on Monday 26th October 2009 at 14:31:33
1 + 1 = 3
Posted by Claude Warner on Wednesday 20th October 2010 at 14:49:28
We each have our own perspectives, but it is these differences that often lead to conflict.
Think of the cost of conflict. Things take longer to get done, we lose our focus, our productivity reduces, relationships get harmed, and many other forms of personal and organisational collateral damage.
Sure, one of us can compromise and allow the other person to have their way. This often happens in business where the person in the position of power enforces their ideas on others, but this is a win-lose. Ultimately even the “winner” loses because they don’t have the support of the other party. This equates to 1 + 1 = 1.5.
Surely there has to be a better way, one where each party wins. There is, and it’s called the Third Alternative.
The Third Alternative isn’t my way or your way, it’s Our way. It’s better than a compromise, and if approached correctly, can be a better alternative than what either of us have proposed.
And it’s easy, and yet not, because it requires us to be open, to suspend our own perspective (and our judgement of the other), to really listen, and to sit with the uncertainty and anxiety of where it’s going to end up.
But, if we trust the process, if we believe that the outcome will be better than what it is now, then we can have a win-win.
So what is the process?
The first step is to change your approach to listening. Even if we listen attentively, we are still listening within our own frame of reference. We need to be able to listen within the other person’s frame of reference.
This requires maturity and strength of character from each party. We need to be secure in ourselves more than we need to be right, and regardless of other people’s opinions of us. This is what great leaders do.
The next step is to agree that neither party can make their point until they have restated the other person’s point to their satisfaction. This is the key step. Only when the other party feel understand can you state your perspective.
This is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. Because you understand somebody does not mean that you necessarily agree with them, it just means that you see what they see.
The last step is for both parties to agree to search for a solution that is better than what either have proposed. This will require each one to hear the other one until they feel understood. Then collectively they can pursue a third alternative.
The synergy of the third alternative produces 1 + 1 = 3.
(This is an extract from Covey’s highly recommend 8th Habit book. It is available at most book stores, or you can order it online from Loot.co.za.)
Claude Warner coaches effective leaders to become great leaders.
By developing the leader’s key emotional, relational, social and communication skills they are empowered to engage inspire and empower people to their full potential, thus achieving the best business results. Claude’s coaching profile for one on one leadership coaching is available here.
Claude also offers the TeamPower group coaching programme, which teaches 6 key communication, relationship and trust skills in an experiential learning format. It is offered as a single group session monthly over 6 months, or all 6 skills are taught in a powerful one day workshop format. Full details here.
Claude is trained as an integral coach, is a member of COMENSA, the national professional body representing coaching and mentoring, and is Chairperson of the COMENSA EC Chapter. He is based in Port Elizabeth.
He can be contacted on +27 (0) 83 227 5153 or info@claudewarner.com. Further details on www.claudewarner.com
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